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Thursday, 17 December 2009

Ayahuasca diaries, part 4

Day 5

It rained heavily all day today, and there were some flooded areas in the camp. The time dragged on before the ceremony. Everyone was nervous and there was a tense atmosphere in camp.

The ceremony, however, ended up quite different from the previous nights in the asylum. I didnt have any strong visions at all really. Maybe the medicine thought id learned the lesson and understood the last message sufficiently to move on. The night was reasonably boring, with the odd nugget of wisdom and clarity making some part of the previous session clear. The wolf came again and i made freinds with him, and now i understood he was here to help me to avoid evil spirits. He slept beside me in my bed afterwards.(am i really writing this?!!) This time the Ayhuasca was coursing through my veins until 5am, giving me shakes and shudders, and a lot of intermitent diarea through the night. I had a dream/vision that i married one girl and we had a son called Robert. Another strange random thing straight out of the blue, and from where i dont know! I dont even think i know anyone with that name, although it is a cool name (i never thought that before though)

Im still not sure, is this a medicine that allows the spirits to enter you and purge you until you see total clarity and enter heaven? Or is it simply a hallucinagenic drug that allows your subconcious mind to tell your concious mind what it needs to know. The 'purges' (pukes, shits, shakes, sweats) are strange - you feel good afterwards, yes definately like you got rid of somting bad in your system, 'some bad energy is leaving you' is what they say, and it clears the path to enlightment, but whatever... I suppose thats like some kind of psychic church confessional (not that i've ever been to one). One of the guys was basically orgasming in the ceremony. i afterwards saw him, hed walked into the jungle with his torch and was puking like crazy, whooping and oohin and ahhing. He was really loving it. he said the next day, he was going on fire, and met some really wise spirits who were opening up whole new things to him. This was his 2nd or 3rd time.

The setup here is quite interesting from a psychological perspective. 30 people living on top of each other (in questionable hygene/light) Its quite annoying with this large amount in the ceremony, as its a lot of noise and a lot of people going to the toilet putting torches on etc. I think 10 would have been much better. I couldnt even find a space in the toilet last night and was considering going in the shower. The noises in there would make a sober man sick. Ayhuasca puking is not like normal puking. Its always loud, not much actually comes up, but there is a lot of energy used in the process. Some guys make a gobbling noise like a turkey, some guys are even stranger and more sinister, like a noise that an Orc would make choking to death.

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