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Wednesday, 10 February 2010


So off i went onto the plane south, wind in my hair, bell bottoms swishing. I cursed as i caught them on the tiny planes door latch. I landed in the small town of El Dingo, famous for police brutality, disapearing local mayors, and oily food. From there i could hike to their HQ, or, using my undercover disguise, find a local member. My plan thus far was to join with some other bell bottoms, and make like a worshipper, so i headed to the local plaza de Bolivar (there's one in every Venezuelan town) Outside the church i saw milling a group of excited looking moustaches, bell bottoms flapping in the wind. I hadnt shaved for days, so i was getting a bit of a handlebar moustache going myself so i fitted in quite the thing. 'hola amigos' i piped up in my most freindly pidgin english. Where can i find the Goddess? (Imagination isn't my strong point) Ah, welcome Gringo. How do you find us? you are a foreign worshipper, we didnt see many of those, well alive at least. The obvious leader answered - a tall, uglier brother of Che Guavara. He glinted at me, his gold tooth shining in the hot sun. You may join us, we go today to the temple. But first, please join me for some Chai Latte in our members house, it seems to me you are new to our freindly society.

I was hamming up my acting as i jovially bounced into their members house, next to the church. What a scene. Pictures of John Travolta everywhere, along with famous red headed actresses over the years. Freaks.

We were seated in the cafe, a cool but basic affair. I suppose many a 'rojo' had sat here waiting his chance to worship a redhead. 'How did you know about us' snarled Che to me, his moustache now white from the froth of his latte. I noticed mine was already in front of me. I tried not to stumble here. I had it all planned out. 'I was in Merida' One man told me. Im a big fan of saturday night fever too. It didnt come out so well but i think he beleived me. He chuckled. Ahhh markus he is a good man. This confused me. 'you know Markus? the religious professor?' Che's eyes glazed over. Yes he looked at me with look that said not to ask any more questions.

Drink up. Lets go to the mountain. he drained his Chai Latte and wiped his moustache...confused and nervous, i furtively swished along behind him.

A large helicopter had landed in the square, and the men were boarding. i followed on and joined the team. As we sped across the country, i realised i wasnt prepared for what was about to happen. How the hell was i supposed to get X out of there? what if she didnt want to come? The surprise i was about to get would however put everything into perspective...

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