I spent my first weekend, and hopefully my last, in the 'Hilton Doubletree 5star All Inclusive Resort' this weekend.
There is something very sinisterly 'westworld' about these all inclusive resorts. You get a yellow tag, and if you dont have it, security are up and throwing you out to the streets as soon as can say 'fascism'. Guests are all told not to leave the resort, its dangerous - dont go along the beach as the locals will rob you etc etc. i have no idea why they say this - ok Puntarenas isnt the most beautiful city in the world, but the people are actually quite decent and freindly, like most Ticos. But i suppose stupid American tourists, the brain dead idiots who actually go on 'all inclusive' 10 day holidays and dont leave the hotel area, and actually beleive that they visited Costa Rica, would attract the wrong types like flies to the proverbial....
Anyway, one night i had enough of false smiles and buffet dinners, I decided to walk along the main road to town, and found a different hotel for $17 a night (as opposed to $200 a night for the luxury prison camp) It was pretty basic but anyway if you are looking for a place to sleep, its name ill add in here in a minute with contact details (as i forgot its name just now)
The next morning I was running along the beach and ended up at the resort. I blagged my way in and said id lost my tag, so they let me in, asking me if i was ok etc etc. of course not beleiving that a whitey would be so stupid to leave the safety of such Utopia.
Actually so the real story of why i ended up in such middle management corporation family hell is that me and a couple of guys from the local (Jaco) Poker Room decided to go in for a $300 entry Poker tournament in that hotel, with the intention of leaving that night after the tournament. We drove an hour up there, and on entry, the gatekeeper told us we had to pay $75 to go in. Of course an argument ensued and we didnt have to pay it, it was just his little scam, but i suppose they dont pay them so much. Anyway, once inside i realised it was a whole event of Poker, with the biggest Poker Tournament in the Costa Rica Poker Calender on that weekend, the Pura Vida Cup (So i tried and succeeded to win enough for the $1500 buy-in, and so thats the reason i stayed there. It was rather surreal - almost half of the players were pasty faced internet Poker professionals from North Europe. so the field was either drama queen latinos (who im sure were cheating) and po-faced Swedish zombie vampires, who seemed to frazzle whenever they hit the sun.
You can read about the actual tournament here
(Termino el día 2 del Evento Principal del Pura Vida Poker Cup. Luego de seis horas los 48 jugadores que empezaron el día se vieron reducidos a 16 que volverán a la acción mañana a partir de las dos de la tarde.
El sueco Alan Findlay es el actual líder en fichas con 237,200 seguido muy de cerca por su compatriota Jon Odell con 232,200.
Mañana se jugará hasta definir un campeón, son 12 los jugadores que entran en los premios, distribuidos de la siguiente manera:)
but anyway, so what started as a harmless bit of fun, ended up going to the 2nd day, when i started at 2nd to chip leader, then onto the 3rd day when i was chip leader and down the final 16 players - now i know why they look like zombies - 14 hours a day of poker, for days on end turns you into a total wreck, physically and mentally. Why the hell do people do that? I must admit though it was immense fun and most of the guys turned out to be pretty decent, although it was a shame to be chatting about some interesting real estate finance thing, and...oops ALL IN and that guy you were talking to, you just knocked him out of the $52,000 first prize tournament and ruined all his dreams for the trip. Anyway by the time the 3rd day came, i was exhausted, not being used to so much poker, so i ended up flaking out about 5pm in 12th Place, i made the prize money at least though, which paid for the trip and more. But the others soldiered on until at least 3am until the game finally was over. And it turned out that for tax reasons none of the Swedes in the final 3 actually wanted to win the first prize anyway....
Tonight i joined a local football team, the mighty 'Balcon de Mar' Restaurant team, which by the way happens to be a great bar on the beach to go, especually at weekends when its jumping, and is only locals, no hookers, no wankjob americans, or backpackers called Oliver on their Gap Yah ;o)
Anyway we humped some other awful team about 13 to 3 thanks in no small part to my silky (but to be honest more) ankle crunching, skills. Anyway, thanks Chris for introducing me (he's the owner of the Bohio grill, which i will blatantly plug sometime soon
And now to bed, as i have a requirement to run a marathon tomorrow, since its 2 weeks until Marathon Des Sable and i havent actually done all that much.
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| Even the lizards politely beg at the tables here at the Doubletree Resort |
There is something very sinisterly 'westworld' about these all inclusive resorts. You get a yellow tag, and if you dont have it, security are up and throwing you out to the streets as soon as can say 'fascism'. Guests are all told not to leave the resort, its dangerous - dont go along the beach as the locals will rob you etc etc. i have no idea why they say this - ok Puntarenas isnt the most beautiful city in the world, but the people are actually quite decent and freindly, like most Ticos. But i suppose stupid American tourists, the brain dead idiots who actually go on 'all inclusive' 10 day holidays and dont leave the hotel area, and actually beleive that they visited Costa Rica, would attract the wrong types like flies to the proverbial....
 |
| Taking your life into your hands at the (not really)very dangerous locals beach (actually it was pretty nice) |
Anyway, one night i had enough of false smiles and buffet dinners, I decided to walk along the main road to town, and found a different hotel for $17 a night (as opposed to $200 a night for the luxury prison camp) It was pretty basic but anyway if you are looking for a place to sleep, its name ill add in here in a minute with contact details (as i forgot its name just now)
The next morning I was running along the beach and ended up at the resort. I blagged my way in and said id lost my tag, so they let me in, asking me if i was ok etc etc. of course not beleiving that a whitey would be so stupid to leave the safety of such Utopia.
Actually so the real story of why i ended up in such middle management corporation family hell is that me and a couple of guys from the local (Jaco) Poker Room decided to go in for a $300 entry Poker tournament in that hotel, with the intention of leaving that night after the tournament. We drove an hour up there, and on entry, the gatekeeper told us we had to pay $75 to go in. Of course an argument ensued and we didnt have to pay it, it was just his little scam, but i suppose they dont pay them so much. Anyway, once inside i realised it was a whole event of Poker, with the biggest Poker Tournament in the Costa Rica Poker Calender on that weekend, the Pura Vida Cup (So i tried and succeeded to win enough for the $1500 buy-in, and so thats the reason i stayed there. It was rather surreal - almost half of the players were pasty faced internet Poker professionals from North Europe. so the field was either drama queen latinos (who im sure were cheating) and po-faced Swedish zombie vampires, who seemed to frazzle whenever they hit the sun.
 |
| Your truly looking mightily suspicious while counting my money |
You can read about the actual tournament here
(Termino el día 2 del Evento Principal del Pura Vida Poker Cup. Luego de seis horas los 48 jugadores que empezaron el día se vieron reducidos a 16 que volverán a la acción mañana a partir de las dos de la tarde.
El sueco Alan Findlay es el actual líder en fichas con 237,200 seguido muy de cerca por su compatriota Jon Odell con 232,200.
Mañana se jugará hasta definir un campeón, son 12 los jugadores que entran en los premios, distribuidos de la siguiente manera:)
but anyway, so what started as a harmless bit of fun, ended up going to the 2nd day, when i started at 2nd to chip leader, then onto the 3rd day when i was chip leader and down the final 16 players - now i know why they look like zombies - 14 hours a day of poker, for days on end turns you into a total wreck, physically and mentally. Why the hell do people do that? I must admit though it was immense fun and most of the guys turned out to be pretty decent, although it was a shame to be chatting about some interesting real estate finance thing, and...oops ALL IN and that guy you were talking to, you just knocked him out of the $52,000 first prize tournament and ruined all his dreams for the trip. Anyway by the time the 3rd day came, i was exhausted, not being used to so much poker, so i ended up flaking out about 5pm in 12th Place, i made the prize money at least though, which paid for the trip and more. But the others soldiered on until at least 3am until the game finally was over. And it turned out that for tax reasons none of the Swedes in the final 3 actually wanted to win the first prize anyway....
 |
| A bizzare moment in my life, as leader in the tournament- a moment of rare glory. I really had no idea what i was doing |
Tonight i joined a local football team, the mighty 'Balcon de Mar' Restaurant team, which by the way happens to be a great bar on the beach to go, especually at weekends when its jumping, and is only locals, no hookers, no wankjob americans, or backpackers called Oliver on their Gap Yah ;o)
Anyway we humped some other awful team about 13 to 3 thanks in no small part to my silky (but to be honest more) ankle crunching, skills. Anyway, thanks Chris for introducing me (he's the owner of the Bohio grill, which i will blatantly plug sometime soon
 | |||
| Costa Ricas national side get humped by the giants of Centro de America, the invincible 'Balcon del Mar'. Note homeless kid sleeping in the subs bench on the left for some reason |
And now to bed, as i have a requirement to run a marathon tomorrow, since its 2 weeks until Marathon Des Sable and i havent actually done all that much.
And just for the record, the rooms in the resort were quite average hotel level, and the food was utterly boring ;o) but of course i understand the place is meant for boring people so thats ok then...
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