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Sunday, 27 January 2013

Plockton, Skye and the Romantic Highland Dream (or was that Dram)

Every time I visit the north of Scotland I get pangs of wanting to buy a smallholding (called a 'croft') get some guns, grow carrots, and peas, fish and shoot for my meat and scallops, start a cult, and live the dream...

This, believe it or not is 'Coral Beach' on Skye...

this last trip to Skye was no exception...We stayed in the Stein Inn, in the Atlantic(ish) swept Northern part of the island, which boasts one of the most strangely placed palm trees in the world...

Winter isn't the best time for a picnic in Skye...
Touring around the Island, it seems like a good few thousand people have had the same idea. With a population of 10,000 people, there are over 50 artist/sculpture studios open to the public - I mean 50!!! That means one in 20 people here are professional artists. Add their wives/husbands and children into the equation and basically half the population lives on a cottage converted into a studio...

The weird and haunted Quarang, in northeast Skye, where giants fight and eat humans

This is great from a general economic and anti-redneck point of view of the Island, but personally i'm not sure if I want to be neighbours with ponytailed guys from Surrey who name their children 'Slate' or 'Flower', or even worse 'Finlay' (or any other first name second name for that matter) and who's ugly wives keep hitting on me.

Can we make one island, please where these people aren't allowed? I think an island with a '2nd amendment' rule, where guns, gambling, drinking and smoking are legal and untaxed, meat is be eaten by all, trees are not allowed to be hugged, normal pursuits like hunting are encouraged (as opposed to shipping in organic aubergines from Waitrose) and women aren't allowed to speak about things that make them sound stupid (like on football, or economics, for example)


I've already (in this blog) talked about the lovely (but overpriced) restaurants in Skye selling locally caught food and so on, and Dunvegan Castle, the Cuillin mountains, and the various other pretty cool and haunting attractions of the Island. My next plan is to make a little adventure around one part of Skye where there are no roads and no one lives, on the other side of the mountains. Like a little, wet, cold Shangri-La. I suppose I won't tell you about it now in case you arrive and ruin it for me. Really, loud american accents aren't made for this part of the world, dear friend...

Dont forget your sandwiches!

Ok, thats all for now, (I'm off to the movies...) I'll write more on the beautiful Plockton and the Highlands later in the week...don't forget to send me a birthday present tomorrow!


  1. Lets hear you talk about football and see how smart you sound!

  2. Happy Birthday Mr F. Were you mistaken for James May shooting Top Gear in Saigon?

    Like the fitba and females proposition. But you know that the offside rule is alien to you too ;-)


  3. do you really want to hear me talk about football?