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Saturday, 4 February 2012

Miami - Like a Beautiful Woman

Miami is a Cartmanesque nightmare of what USA would be like if white people hadn't turned up.

Todo es en Espanol !! (everything is in Spanish)

90% of the population speaks Spanish and are from all over Latin American (mostly Cuba and Venezuela) and run about half naked, looking hot and doing all the work. The other 10% are hasidic Jews who run about with the full garb on in the heat worrying about who's running the business back in New York. Why they come to Miami i do not know - i mean its not like they're partying while their wives are topless sunbathing (chance would be a fine thing)

The drug business is also doing very well here


Anyway, I stayed in South Beach, which contains the famous and fabulous Ocean Drive, with, i must admit quite attractive to walk around. The Riviera Hotel and Suites (where i stayed) - i wont even put a link up as its a 2 star hotel that got decorated and pretends to be  4 star hotel (including the prices) The internet didn't work and half my lights didn't either.

The Famous Ocean Drive

But the location, if you are staying in Miami is perfect because you can walk to the beach and i understand there are lots of things to do if drinking is something that interests you...although don't be caught out in Florida like these upstanding Scots.

So what to do in Miami? Well theres a nice park and Key Biscayne just off downtown, past the Miami Seaquarium. And...well. Drinking very expensively.

I really love these Art Deco Buildings (from a totally superficial point of view of course)

In fact i even went to the airport early as sitting on a beach/drinking aren't really the most inspiring things to spend my life doing.

In summary, Miami is like a beautiful woman. Great to look and seems exciting for a few hours. Then you realise it's totally 2 dimensional and dull as dishwater.


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