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Sunday, 14 November 2010

Kopli Life - Très Chic!

So i've now joined the vanguard of Estonias upwardly mobile community by moving to Kopli. Kopli you could say is almost up and coming. The booze is cheap here (in fact you can buy 'aftershave' to drink here too, and lighter fluid, for those cold winter nights)

I thought that maybe id be walking round, seeing some 'bohemians' and other pioneering foreigners...but, no, its just me and a bunch of Russian alcoholics for now. I walked past the bus stop last night, and a romantic couple were holding on tightly to each other and the bus stop post..awww i though. As i got nearer i realised they were so drunk that moving an inch away from it would mean they would both lose balance and fall into the puddles surrounding them. très chic - Welcome to Kopli !

The weekends are the most interesting. Apart from the 'narcos' who sing 'hallelulah!' walking down the street (al la trainspotting) the characters mostly have a love affair with 'champanski'. Or rather alcohol in general. I'm sure that had something to do with the man standing around muttering in Ristikotu street saturday in his shorts and nothing else. It was 2 degrees. Tough guys these russians.

But fortunately, the good news for potential bohemians who cant afford the newly hip Balti-Jaam (railway station) area, Kopli is totally safe. The criminals are too busy drinking lighterfluid and (for the mornings) these large brown plastic bottles of cheap strong beer, which is the Estonian equivalent of Carlsberg special Brew.

What with the drinking, they barely have time to beat their wives, although i did see some of that on the beach there this summer, ahh the romance of a summers day. Actually the woman was doing more beating than the man in this occasion, get in there! (love tip for you girls, im quite ok with you hitting your men, but dont bite us when making out as it really pisses us off) This is one big plus point of Kopli - there are two beaches. They are however, filled with Russian drunks sunbathing in the their nasty underwear, and groups of feral young guys looking for drunk girls to 'group date' Not for the tourists, not yet...

I was warned about running around here, but i have a great route now along Ristikotu and down one long boulevard, occupied mainly by surprisingly hot russian teenage single mothers and to the Stromi beach. From there you can run your way along parks and paths all the way out of the ghetto. It seems to me totally safe, although if i was a drunk robber, id go for the old ladies, not the nutter dressed like a hobo with running shoes and a backpack. I was actually kind of hoping for a fight though at some point. As fight club will tell you, fighting certainly makes a man feel alive (or dead if it goes badly)

Anyway, im off to USA tomorrow for a few days, and then London. So if you have a penthouse free, and are a beautiful rich girl who can cook, let me know, ill drop by.

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