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Monday, 24 May 2010

In Defence of Peter Pan Syndrome - Keep Believing!

Areas of instability = areas with not enough men

I finally watched 'Finding Neverland' which is pretty funny as Johny Depp has, surprisingly, a good Glasgow accent as the author of JM Barrie (who wrote Peter Pan)

From my point of view, the interest was more about the writer, who was basically the Michael Jackson of his day (im pretty sure both actually were innocent but tragically misunderstood) and after whom the label 'Peter Pan Syndrome' was wrongly coined.

Actually, JM Barrie, allegedly had a glandular problem and never 'developed', physically ie he couldnt shag. So he had really the opposite of Peter Pan syndrome, he became mature mentally without maturing physically.

So why do some men prefer to play with kids all day and act out adventures and think like a child? When i was 10 years old, if someone told me 40 year olds would be playing 'world of warcraft' 10 hours a day i wouldnt believe it. Welcome to the future ;o)

Anyway firstly here are some definitions - I particulary like the 'wendy syndrome' ;o)

1. PETER PAN SYNDROME, a desire to remain young and not face the responsibilities of youth, is the natural result of anyone who had a good childhood. The naive security of youth is looked upon fondly as an ideal state of being. Although the "condition," which is really just a state of mind, has gained a negative connotation in quasi-psychological use, it is actually a normal part of the post-adolescent mindset. If, however, the Peter Pan is to completely shun adult responsibility to the detriment of happiness or relationships, he can be said to be a "victim" of this syndrome.( For more, see www.evanbailyn.com which is a pretty good blog)

2. PETER PAN SYNDROME has been accepted in psychology and laypeople and, by some psychology professionals since the book "THE PETER PAN SYNDROME: MEN WHO HAVE NEVER GROWN UP) by Dr. Dan Kiley and published in 1983.

It characterizes the personality of an immature person and also includes narcissistic behavior. It groups those with this disorder an undependable, rebellious, anger, narcissism, dependency, and manipulation tendencies. According to Dr. Kiley, "Peter Pan" is the adult little boy who, when in a relationship or in seeking a relationship, acts out a need for mothering.

Dr. Kiley also wrote another book called, "The Wendy Dilemma" published in 1984. A woman who (often unconsciously) acts in a mother role. Contributing the other half of co-dependent couple's circumstances, her responses to the Peter Pan man, is over-protection, possessiveness, complaining, and "martyrdom."


My take on it? I'm with Albert Einstein.

Einstein (not so) famously said - "The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives."

It's the idea that we keep our minds open to new possibilities, remain accepting of different views, and crave knowledge in addition to understanding, and rise above the 'white noise' around you.

In other words, for some real Genius to come out, you have to clear the mind of all the cynicism and negativity of the adult world. The backstabbers the naysayers, the stalkers, the negative energy of the people who try to drag you down. If you are under pressure all the time from large numbers of jealous detractors, or the victim of politics, then why not escape into your own personal mountain hideout in that great forest in the north, in order to find inspiration? You dont see Bhuddist monks up there in Tibet whinging about how that guy over there did such and such, and how so and so could have been such and such but now hes just a drunk.

Therein lies Nirvana, and really, as all you fellow peter panners know, away from the ugliness of the banal negative hordes, the world can be truly beautiful.

This is maybe what is really meant by the 'age of Aquarius' when bad energy is finally dissapated. The worst case of the future has already been explored in 'Utopia' (Sir Thomas More) or 'Brave New World' (Aldius Huxley) or '1984' (George Orwell) But these realities only happen if we let the spuds win.

But lets not forget, on the inspiration front, Beautiful women help here too. Is it a coincidence that riots happen in countries with too few and too ugly(and oddly enough hairy) women ? - I think its not a coincidence that every man in the med. comes north and east to be inspired by the beauties of the Slavic race. Do you know a man who sings the beauty of Greek girls over the fair maidens of Southern Estonia? No wonder they all prefer goats and little boys.

Conclusion? Women? - be beautiful and smart and inspiring Men? - keep believing, be inspired, stop whinging and do what your good at (unless its whinging)

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