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Monday, 25 April 2011

Tallinn in Spring, and random Easter blethering

An Estonian Woman, in February
Well, despite the usual death threats, here I am back in Tallinn for the spring. I think Spring is the best tme of year. Ok ok i hear you say. Its already 20 degrees in London and twats there are probabaly wearing some new metrosexual summer cardigans or somthing. And yes, it's already beach weather in Spain. But when you look out the window here, it looks crisp and beautiful. The birds are chirping and singing on the mounds of cigarette encrusted brown snow. And when you go outside, its just when the wind blows that you remember that you should have brought a hat with you.

But the most special thing about this time of year in Estonia, is that this is the time when the women begin to thaw into human beings. During winter they usually wrap up and dont laugh at my (ok ok not very funny) jokes. Or stay home whenever it goes below minus 20. But walking around now, you can a host of beautiful human beings, smiling, doing sport, even God forbid laughing. And its a fine sight, for the time being.

Now that the hell that was the Marathon Des Sables is no longer interfering with my drinking or writing, or attempts to live as a semi normal member of society, I plan to now ignore the fact i have no home for a little time more.

I have however whittled it down though to 5 semi-potentials.

1. London? Yes, good for the biz, lots of old and good freinds there, surprisingly nice weather, lots to do, and the odd interesting person to meet, but generally overpriced city with no imagination, full of self absorbed full of shit rat race twats who pretend they have a life because they drink in shoreditch once a month, or people jumping on whatever bandwagon they may find to pose as 'cool' . Idiots. Living here permanately will turn me to setting up a vigilante movement to inflict violence on a large number fo the population.

2. Glasgow. Yes, my old home, a beautiful city, and a good place and good atmosphere to be a 'creative' type, but borderline parochial and conservative for a freak like me, and my mum would want to iron my shirts every week. Its also likely a mob would lynch me at some point here in the future for my political views.

3. Buffalo - Really where i should be for the next while for the business. And cheap and bursting full of 'artists' But what the hell, id kill myself in a year in a small cold city surrounded by fat rednecks.

4. Tallinn -  Good freinds, good vibe but severe lack of inspiration and that, the sheer tininess of the city, and the fact most Estonians hate me probably has to knock this on the head as a permanant place to live (unless i of course the miracle happens that a girl actually decides to put up with my weirdness and marry me)

5. Tokyo - No reason to be here, im just thinking with my penis.

So basically the jury is out. A common theme seems to emerge connected to my general arrogance and dislike of people of non-genius IQ's here, which isnt good for my long term personal safety. But what do i care, i know what happens when you die anyway and its quite ok.

The becoming a monk for a while in Tibet and learn kung-fu still sounds good but i dont think my libido would allow that to happen - there may be some very sore goats in that monastary after a few months.

Anyway for the short time while the weather is above zero in Estonia, im going to take a cottage in the countryside, to actually focus on this book ive been writing for the last trillion years and actually get it into a publishable format. Then i can actually forget about business and become a whore to writing hard boiled cynical noir cannibal slavery Beethoven inspired fiction, based sadly enough on my own tragically dysfunctional life (except the cannibal part, thats illegal here)

Id like to say here that im fully recovered from the race now, but actually my toenail just fell off so i'd be lying. next stop Arctic Yukon Ultra ! Then I can actually have the immense fun of losing toes, not just toenails...

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