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Thursday, 10 October 2013

If Jeremy Clarkson made Nightclubs - York Club, Dubai

So I booked into a random mid-level hotel (York International Hotel) here in Dubai, as I stop over a couple of nights en route to Singapore. The first night, arriving at 2am I went straight to sleep but I did notice the next day there were various bars, restaurants and clubs around the venue, so I ventured down the 2nd night to see what was on offer...

First stop was an 'Asian Club'. This basically meant that I sat and drank a beer, and a row of pretty young Indian girls sat on a stage looking bored, and one was up dancing. I'm not quite sure what was going on here, maybe someone can help - it sure seemed strange that a bunch of fat rich looking indian guys  would want to just sit and watch girls dancing in some kind of Indian style dancing all night. Who knows, maybe they were there to buy more wives, maybe it was all just a bit of good fun...anyway, bored out of my skull after two pints, I headed down to the York Club, downstairs. This was a very different kettle of fish. As soon as I got in, fifty sets of eyes were on me, smiling gappy teeth in the dark. Yep, you guessed it, skanky hookers. I went over to the stage, and a Japanese girl band were rocking it out to 'Breaking the Law' by Judas Priest. Jeremy Clarkson lookalikes were in frantic air guitar competitions. One finished off with the drunken 'spin' on the dancefloor - you know it - you've probably done it, when you're dancing with a lucky lady, have been downing shots all night, and you have it in your head that making a little spin around on the dancefloor will be a good move, but actually 50% of the time you end up falling over and looking stupid. I noticed actually the dancefloor was full of drunken 50 year old blokes, with some of the most awful dance moves you could ever dream of. Still, with AC/DC's 'Highway to Hell' coming on straight after, they were in Top Gear heaven. I felt kind of sorry for the prossies though. This place must be a kind of place where hookers end up when they get too old, clapped out or just not sexy enough to be in other places, so they trawl around here, looking desperate, trying to catch Jeremy Clarksons in between downing shots, hoping they won't notice the fact they are more than ready for the prostitutes knackers yard.

Anyway, all in all it was a good fun place, albeit bizzare. I met a chubby Georgian girl who was just a normal tourist and so I enlisted her as my DHD (desperate hooker defence) and watched the clazy japanese girls, who seemed to even have choreographed dances for Led Zeppelin numbers...

And I just noticed the hero of last nights show, the craziest air guitarist of the whole club...mr dancefloor spinner, furtively sneaking out of the hotel looking like a total wreck (it's 2.30pm the next day as I write this...) and probably wishing he'd stayed at home...


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