Late Night Philosophy no 136 - Is Eastern Europe an Ugly Mans Paradise ?

Im always amazed how a certain demographic blip can change the whole psychology in a nation, or even a whole region.

I read this article on how the severe lack of eligible men in Latvia and suddenly it all made sense.

Look around you (if you happen to be in Eastern Europe) and you see a big difference on how the women and men look here. Why are the men mostly ugly and the women mostly pretty? Why are there so many more women than men, especially educated women? Why do women have longer hair? (ok ok thats not really part of it)

Well, lets look at this from a logical masculine perspective (since im eating a macho dinner of meat and bread, mainly because i cant cook for toffee)

1. The Baltic region has among the highest women to men ratios in the world (117F-100M in Latvia according to CIA website and 113F-100M in Estonia)
2. To make things worse, there is a severe shortage of sober men wth jobs who do not sleep in their leather jackets
3. Therefor ugly women dont stand a chance in the gene pull unless they 'put out'  and arent too choosy.
4. Most women therefor try to compete for the limited supply of normalish men, (i.e. guys who own a toothbrush, or at least have some semblance of a 'personality')
5. The (many) stunningly beautiful intelligent and interesting women do get a good man, but then leave with him to 'the west' because the local 'spuds' call her a slut for having some self esteem.
6. The remainder have low self esteem, and will even tolerate charmless drunk farmers, just to get some attention, sex, and to hang in there in the gene pool. In fact im reliably informed that often a girl (who would be deemed 'hot' in UK) would only go for 'losers' because they would be scared that if they got a decent guy they would disappoint him and he'd break their heart. Kinda figures.
7. The tragic part is though, as any trip to Nimeta bar will tell you, is that the sad facts of this scenario have already leaked out to the Waiters of Italy, the Car Mechanics of Essex, and the drunk wife beaters of Australia and USA, who, themselves desperate to remain in the gene pool, flock over in budget flights and pretend to the poor hapless beautiful young Baltic ladies of  'Club Hollywood' in Tallinn, that they are for some reason worthy of them (which, as any outside observer can see, they are certainly not)

So if this anomoly of demographics means that the Baltics is a losers paradise, where does that leave the successful, shiny, handsome, mr normal guy with good genes, good job, good health?  If genetically men need to mate with as many women as possible, then the alpha male, here in the Baltics, surely has finally been toppled, as the women it would seem (and can be confirmed by a trip to Levist Valjas bar at 6am) would rather breed with the 'safe bet' of a loser.

If the vast majority of girls here prefer a man with pain, a man with issues, a man with bald head and missing teeth, over a man with a steady income, then the good looking charming rich funny intelligent sophisticated urbane man in the baltics...well,then his choices are severely limited to that 1% of girls with both beauty and confidence, and hes basically in the same position he'd be in back home (so if he can pick and choose back home no problem, then no real reason to come to Eastern Europe then, apart from of course the lovely Church Architecture)

But for that he may as well be back in Stockholm or Edinburgh. At least the beautiful girls there will have a father and mother, and not run off with jobless drunks whenever they hit 30 ;o)

We must stop this Estonian World Domination Threat!

Some people are have bizzare notions that Jews or Chinese or Masons secretly control the world. What the hell are these guys talking about? All the time, behind our backs, and in our midst, there is another more sinister group pulling the strings.

SPUD operatives undercover, yesterday

Here was us looking at Davos meetings and who was in the Council on Foreign Relations and all the time the Estonians are secretly running the world from their free wifi locations in south Estonia.

I should have known beforehand - all through history we've seen Estonian World Dominators, out there in the open, operating under our noses -

We can trace this history from hundreds of years ago, as one the worlds Potato Emperor began his ascent..famously quoting

'Give me control of the countries potatoes and i care not who makes the laws' Nathanial de Kartulipead 1803 (on holiday in London)

to present day, dim but ambitious frontman for the Estonian Slavemasters -

“Don't worry about American pressure on Estonia, we, the Estonian people control America, and the Americans know it.” Ariel Saavisaar 2006 (on holiday in Tel Aviv)

I managed to infiltrate the groups headquarters last weekend, where they were holding their infamous all night 'Jaanipaev' rally. Jaanipaev' literally translates as 'Death and Enslavement to all non Estonians. Hail the mighty Fatherland. Hail the mighty Potato' . The group has been actively promoting Estonias role in enslaving the peoples of the world, while hoarding world potato crops and keeping their own country debt free. It's no wonder that those Estonian men who went bankrupt in the crisis were total fools and were known as 'potato heads' - part of their code, these were actually top agents being made 'sacrifical lambs' by the top brass in the bunkers of Otepaa to pretend that they too were suffering. You think its a coincidence that beautiful Baltic blondes round the world are marrying rich men?! Think again! These are all actually top secret agents employed by Estonias crack 'Section Promoting Undercover Directives' or SPUD for short, in order to bring these men to Estonia to spend all their money, or to divorce them and take the money. Why else is the Old Town,Tallinn full of hot rich divorcess with British Accents?!

Estonians look on as they burn people with brown eyes at the stake

The main training ground for the girls who wish to be future cougars, I can reveal is Suur Kaire Street in Old Town, Tallinn, where the ever growing junior volunteer force practice in seducing men who are far too old for them, in order to experience cynicism and a soulless loveless life at a young age. All this sacrifice for their fatherland is very commendable from the Estonian World Domination point of view, and these girls are usually rewarded with jobs in the catering industry round the world to hone their skills further and 'catch the rich guy' to draw back the money to dear Eesti.

Seductresses at work

So next time a beautiful girl tells you 'you have eyes like the baltic sea', just be careful and watch your pockets. In fact, better just run - though drop her my phone number so i can follow up the case.

So how to spot them? How to defeat this tyranny of beauty?

Well the most obvious sign is the blue eyes. If you want to put a halt to this world enslavement process, then join my lead and boycott all businesses that employ blue eyed or blonde people. Or good looking girls (probably volunteers for SPUD). Or really ugly charmless bald Estonian guys (probably SPUD operatives) Avoid Pretty women at all costs. Focus on finding a girfriend with a good sense of humour, and a father, as she almost certainly will not be Estonian. Girls? I think you arent in any danger, unless you have been abused at a young age and have a thing for ugly bald guys.