Conspiracy Theories - Ignoramuses vs Weedheads

It’s the Masonic Reptile Jewish Chinese British Royal Family Rothchilds, of course!

The world seems awash with conspiracies these days, some zany, some so blatantly obvious that my great auntie Edna can see them (if I had a great auntie Edna, that is)

But what the weed-smoking Ron Paul quoting paranoid bloggers seem to miss out on is that, this has always been the case. There has always been ‘the man’ to stick it to, who controls it all behind the scenes – the world wouldn't be the world if it didn't. If it wasn’t our dear old Jesus Christ exposing the corruption behind the scenes back in the day, it was Robin Hood, or the East India Company, the Spanish Inquisition, and so on and so on before you can say Rothschild Controlled Central Bank we're right up to Kennedy's death and Boston bombings...

Ok, you say but why?

Lets look at this rationally, and ideally without needing to quote David Ike books  – Firstly what about the various strange things happening this last year in USA - why would we be surprised about false flag attacks?

If I...

1.     Was very powerful.

2.     Was a Sociopath.

3.     Wanted to push public opinion in one way or another…i.e. I wanted to attack a vulnerable muslim country that, although no Americans knew where it was, had a lot of oil which I could benefit from greatly by getting it out the ground.

4.     Didn’t really have a moral reason to do this, i.e. it wasn’t a very nice thing to do but it would make me and my pals a lot of money.

Well, what would I do?

1.     On the longer term, I’d corral extremists into groups that my friends had controlled and infiltrated, and call them names that seemed very Jihadist, like Al Qeda or We Hate Whitey or something like that (yes I just made that one up)

2.     I’d have an ex CIA operative lead them, and covertly help spread the message, so that the whole movement ‘against’ my gang/country, would be covertly controlled, so that no really important targets were ever hit.

3.     I’d let them get the odd ‘success’ so there would be no suspicion about the fact that I control them. Since we can control these groups, we can also encourage them to do things that are not exactly in their interest. Most members of these groups are not geniuses, which helps a lot. For example, there could be an event that would give them lots of publicity, and would make them happy – maybe bombing a big building or something like that. While they generally love this attention, actually this would very much work against them from a PR perspective.

4.     These events would push the (disappointingly ignorant) public into thinking that a. these brown/right wing/muslim/gun owning/(whoever I have a reason to take something from) people are ‘evil’ (doh!) and b. It’s ok to occupy and destabilize their countries/regions and take their oil/guns/whatever to protect ourselves from any other ‘terrorist threats’.

Voila! So basically I’ve

a. Got my 'evil' enemies to become enemies of the people, therefor I have the moral higher ground.

b. Got a carte blanche to take what I want from this 'axis of evil' (hehe i always laugh at this phrase)

c. Am able to use taxpayers money to make my military spending off the scale in order to make a private security force for my cronies, and/or scare the public senseless with Hollywood style OTT SWAT team lockdowns of whole neighbourhoods looking for people who are, in theory innocent until proven guilty (or just killed so no questions can be asked)

d. Completely isolated and destroyed these poor brown peoples hopes and dreams, turning them into embittered husks who spend their whole lives hating USA, but they are too miserable/poor to do anything about it. Ever.

e. So basically I win. And my croneys win. We make lots of money. Ok the taxpayer loses out since he/she pays for the wars, sure. And of course we get to control those taxpayers a lot more because of our 'war on terror' just in case they get wise to it, sure. No bad things huh? And a few thousand soldiers get killed defending our oil. And a lot of innocent people get killed - mostly brown and poor in countries Americans don't know nor care about and so who don't count in their eyes, but sometimes whiteys too. But its fine, all for the greater cause.

I mean this isn’t rocket science surely? I don’t have any particular opinion pro or against this action, I’m just pointing out the obvious…but believe you me (and I don't think most WSCT (weed smoking conspiracy theorists) think much about the fact that US isn't the only country doing this - thankfully its a worldwide phenomenon, and always has been, and always will be with us. So stop wasting your time trolling everyone with conspiracy theories, you can't do anything about them, I'm afraid. 

The Weirdness of Life in USA

Is it just me or is there a real wish for the western world to rip itself out of the banality of its current non-existance based around sporting events and soap operas?

I'd like to think i add a little to the inane distractions of life, by writing posts about obese Americans or about Russian girls living on Coffee and cigarettes so they keep slim and get a husband. Today i'll enrich your lives, dear reader, with some more observations on American life (which translates as more Europeans guffawing at the silliness that happens in USA) since i've been stuck here for over a month now...


1. Sauna culture.

US, despite being cold in many places has no Sauna culture. This is possibly connected to the fact that you don't really want to see most American girls naked. In my gym, there is a sauna though, where people turn up with their training shoes on, and full tracksuit, and sit down...kind of missing the point. You can't put water on the Sauna either (for no good reason actually, because i do it all the time when there are no litiganous yanks to whinge)

2. World Travel.

It took 20 minutes in the bank the other day for the tellers to check my ID. They had never seen a foreign passport before. I kid you not. What does this say about the broad/narrow mindedness of the population? I actually told someone I was a Scottish refugee and they believed me. Funny but not funny. It seems that the vast majority of the CNN/Fox watching population have absolutely no interest in or wish to visit anywhere in the outside world. Of course the media tells them it's dangerous (they don't tell you that this is primarily due to US military intervention in the outside world) but these aren't people who are putting 2+2 together. So basically, yet another reason why the world has, and always will have a majority 'slave class'. Which i'm personally, quite alright with.

3. High Fructose Corn Syrup.

The biggest ingredient in pretty much everything in a working class Americans diet, the middle classes woke up to this trick a while back, but being good libertarians, all they do is just buy other (more expensive) stuff and let the working man continue drinking/eating his Pepsi and Burgers. So basically, the taxpayer, pays for Obamacare, which in turn pumps poor/ignorant Americans full of drugs, because they gave themselves diabetes/heart problems, because they eat the food in the supermarket/fast food place. Kind of brings up the shortcomings of the selfish American culture in a nutshell. Of course, this healthcare for the poor wouldn't be needed so much  if, for example, food that is in fact toxic was not legal (like other countries who actually care about their citizens) but of course, who would pay for the election campaign costs if Pharm and Food companies lobby groups weren't getting their way? Personally i'm quite ok with all this, so long as the people who choose to poison themselves, are taxed to hell to pay for the healthcare bills, so I don't have to pay for them. So, why not tax High Fructose Corn Syrup the same as Alcohol or Narcotics? Then maybe the intensive care wards of American hospitals wouldn't be full of fat alcoholics and drug users, wasting US taxpayers dollars...

4. Guns

I'm all for guns. I'm sure I wouldn't last long as a burglar if householders all had guns. Even semi-automatics, why the hell not? And it seems to me to be a good way to get rid of bad people (let them shoot each other all the time, like in Chicago.)

Perhaps Hollywood and the Pharmaceutical Industry have more to answer for on the 'mass shootings' that Americans love, than actual normal people who have guns to protect themselves from burglars and the US government.

If I lived in a country like USA where the only thing I know for sure is that I cant trust the government, then i'd be doing every single thing that they want to ban, as i'd know there's a negative reason for it.

Piers Morgan, who left the UK embroiled in scandal, is completely wrong about getting rid of guns in USA. It won't disarm criminals, it won't disarm the insane prescription drug killers, it will disarm law abiding responsible citizens - soft targets for the authorities.

The UK doesn't have a gun culture. But we don't need one. The bad guys, by and large, don't have guns. Our Police don't have guns either. And we have no real need to be afraid of our bike riding softy Prime ministers (If Labour got in then thats a different story...)

However, living in Buffalo. It seems to me that no one actually has a gun anyway...I must visit Alabama or Texas sometime ;o) But the point is that the problem is the culture here, not the guns.

5. Conspiracy Theories.

I find this pretty funny. Especially the conspiracy theory that the city of London is a law unto itself, and the Queen is the evil reptile Nazi ruler of the world. The tragedy is that most of them are true (like 9/11 or basically any other 'coincidental' scandal just when a new law needs to come out (mass shooting anyone?) But someone must have laced these forums with dodgy kool aid (or more likely they're infiltrated, Philip K Dick style with CIA goons) who put the more crazy ones out there to make fools of the poor sods...

6. Swimming - can someone tell me why does no one in USA swim?

American Culture

If American mass culture could be summed up in 3 words, it would be 'How are you?'

I've gone through the stages of saying 'fine', which basically means a waste of breath, to just making up something amusing like saying. 'I have 2 days to live' or coming back sarcastically with 'I'm Greeaat, how are YOU?'

And then as despair sets in, a smiling 'do you really want to know?' (which confuses them of course, because they really don't care how you are, but another part of them believes that they are sincere good people so it ends up in a 'cant' compute' loop)

And finally now, I've sussed it - I simply look, smile, and totally ignore the question.

Thats the only way to stay sane in even the most functional city in the dysfunctional dystopia which is the inanely distracted, nero-esque farce which, sadly leads the western world in mass hypnosis and cancer giving 'food'.

But enough of politics for the time being. At least in Europe I don't see gay black 'baristas' prancing around to Proclaimers Im gonna be (500 miles) on a sunday afternoon in 'Coffee Culture'. (By the way bravo, Buffalo for having nicer local coffee chains like that above, and 'Spot' Coffee,  with well priced drinks and grub, so i can avoid Starbucks (although i couldn't turn down free coffee in Macdonalds last week)

And finally, apologies for the lack of posts this month, I seem to have hit a 'writers block' with regards to travel writing for the moment, but fear not, I plan to travel round Scotland in November, to some strange and haunted places, all of which i'll write about....

Obnoxious Haiku's

You all know what a Haiku is. It's a really short and kind of pretentious poem that kind of slips off the tongue...you know like...

Water of the Dokei Gorge,
you return to the ocean
I to the mountain.



So I thought it would be interesting to write a Haiku about each country I go to. I'd also love to hear your thoughts and Haiku's dear readers. 



Right now, i'm in USA. So here is my first brief attempts....


Fat people sit there,
among the giant redwoods
ruining the view.


or perhaps the poignant


Eating his big mac,
the monk sits in the meadow
discards the wrapper


Beautiful eh?




Anyway, send me some good ones and i'll post them up.
Here are a few inspiring ones.
And here is how to write one. What could be simpler?

Poor People Round the World !

I was thinking today about the idea that a country could be judged on the behaviour of their poor - with how much dignity they act and how they are treated reflects that country. It does ring true - heres the Alan rating system!

Estonia - poor people are generally dignified. Ok they maybe smell a bit but try to dress normally, and look in bins furtively for bottles etc to recycle. The drunk poor die pretty quickly and quietly so you dont see much of them. 8/10 (minus 2 for the smell)

Great Britain (female pictured)- boorish oafs who blame others for their situation, join the BNP while liveing on kebabs, curry, chinese, chips with curry sauce, cigarettes, and beer, drop litter, intimidate normal people, say 'yeah?' a lot, take drugs, and go to Spain/Majorca/Ibiza for thier hoidays, have no taste, and milk the benefits system more than the worst 'asylum seeker'. Give me hard working Iraqis anyday and lets neuter the 'chavs' They do however keep the population up by having 8 children by 9 different fathers by the age of 13. My rating - (2/10) the 2 only because of the entrepeuneurship shown by their benefits scams.

Africa - African poor seem to me to be the most happy and good natured people on earth. i suspect its 1. they resigned themselves to the fact they are powerless about changing the situation a long time ago because they arent related to the ruling junta 2. they have IQ of 12 and 3. its sunny and warm most of the time. (7/10) they miss a few points because of their general smiling acceptance of their lot (which usually means being exploited down gold mines by chinese gangmasters for 2p a year)

Australia - Basically the same as in uk except 1. they have marginally worse taste if thats possible and 2. they beat their wives. - they do eat better though so even steven at (2/10)

Japanese - Japanese poor are the poor of choice. I once spent a jetlagged morning in ueno park, Tokyo with an old homeless philospher who was im sure in that film the karate kid (he may also have been the inspiration for yoda of star wars) he was a great old dude, spoke perfect english and had pefect manners, in fact it was a few hours before i realised he was a homeless guy. They make perfect origami cardboard boxes, and even leave their shoes at the door, which is pretty funny if it wasnt sad.

But all you horny solvent but slightly dodgy men out there (you know who you are...) there is the new national trend of love hotel refugees, where girls hang outside and offer free sex just for a bed....well sounds like the Tallinn nightclub scene...

http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/2009/02/homeless-japanese-women-dubbed-love-hotel-refugees-.html

marks (9/10 - inventiveness and good business sense in the face of adversity, coupled with good manners and retention of dignity(except the love hotel refugees but well nobodys perfect...)


Americans - I think American poor typify all thats wrong with the country. They can be of course amusing because they are so ignorantly tragic - cliches abound of trailer park rednecks, boys in da hood, latino gangbangers, you name it. My experience of poor americans (outside of Hollywood) is that they are a pretty meek and victimised bunch, with a few nasty buggers like 50 cent bullyng and terrorising the population, and earning the general contempt of the generally contemptous population. The general crapness of americanss as people, is reflected in their not surprising exploitation of their fellow countrymen - http://www.bumfightsdump.com/search/bum_fights !! They do lose a lot of points by their awful eating habits - the fattest poor people on the planet bar none!!

My rating -a sad, and not very glamourous (3/10) becuase i feel sorry for them.