Niagara Falls, Fair City of Fat People and Sex Offenders (and an Angry Waterfall)

The Niagara is kinda cute when its angry

So this time I spent my Buffalo visit staying a rather pleasant and inexpensive guesthouse called wanderfalls  in Niagara Falls, USA, which does private rooms and small dorms (with about 6 people max) for about $25 a night, including pancakes and coffee.  I don't know about you, but I much prefer staying in hostels or some kind of similar thing than soulless chain hotels, so i met some great guys to have a beer with, run, and explore the wonderful City of Niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls is of course famous for having the famous waterfall on its doorstep. It's also a working class suburb of Buffalo, which is a surprisingly good looking city (despite an Estonian style climate) If you are visiting Niagara Falls, most people go to the Canadian side, which is much more prosperous and geared up for tourism, with casinos, hotels, big viewing platforms, a much nicer view (of Horseshoe Falls, the bigger falls) and all the cheesy tourist things (you know the 'Ripley believe it or not, the 4d cinema, all that jazz which i've never seen anything interesting about personally)

Another 'what am i doing here' moment

The US side is mostly an industrial town of about 90,000 people, which grew up on the river business, with aluminium works etc. as the main employer. Now a lot of thats gone, the town is based round one large casino hotel, the Seneca, which is actually quite nice, but has sucked the life out of the town itself.

If you're looking for the real 'Niagara' experience, then the main 'life' is on 3rd Street, just off main street between Main Street and the Casino Hotel. Im afraid it's seen better days, but there is a good wine bar restaurant imaginatively named 'Wine on 3rd' some 'fish fry' and pizza places, and a few bars/clubs dotted throughout the street. I'd suggest not walking too far off this street up the street numbers, it's a bit dodgy at night sometimes. This Niagara link tells you more about local eating/drinking options.

So me and one South African guy, no stranger to urban violence, had a few beers in the awful 'Hard Rock Cafe' (there is one of these and also a 'Starbucks' downtown where all the hotels are. Thats about it.)  and decided to hit a club  ('Ultra Lounge' on 3rd Street) for a taste of life in Niagara Falls. There certainly was a selection of ladies, eager to speak to the 'new kids in town' but hell...talk about wide loads! It's a real shame because some of the girls were very pretty, just when it gets below the waist and....woooop it's like a 35 yr old Spanish woman after 5 kids. I don't know what these girls are eating but it looks like its supersize....

I love the water this colour, was tempting to jump in

Anyway, the bars, I can safely say won't appeal to most except those with a taste for redneck men, or the larger ladies, so my clear recommendation is to walk across the Rainbow Bridge to Canada and there are loads of bars and clubs, it's more like a mini las vegas but at least there are a lot of choices. Otherwise head down to Buffalo and either go to 'Bar Street'  (Chippewas St in the downtown) for rednecks, dance clubs, frat girls, under-agers, or the western half of Allen Street, if you crave a more Bohemian/Live music vibe.

About the sex offenders, the owner of the Wanderfalls was nice enough to tell us that Niagara Falls houses the largest number of sex offenders in the region. So maybe not a great place to set up with your young family ;o)

One great saving grace about Niagara is the River. You can run all the way from the falls, along the path, down a few miles to the whirlpool park at the other end of town. The river is majestic. I ran along the path there just after some heavy rain and the anger and danger of the place was tangible.

€25,000 actually gets you a not bad house here (free plug for www.abbotsinchcapital.com )

Poor People Round the World !

I was thinking today about the idea that a country could be judged on the behaviour of their poor - with how much dignity they act and how they are treated reflects that country. It does ring true - heres the Alan rating system!

Estonia - poor people are generally dignified. Ok they maybe smell a bit but try to dress normally, and look in bins furtively for bottles etc to recycle. The drunk poor die pretty quickly and quietly so you dont see much of them. 8/10 (minus 2 for the smell)

Great Britain (female pictured)- boorish oafs who blame others for their situation, join the BNP while liveing on kebabs, curry, chinese, chips with curry sauce, cigarettes, and beer, drop litter, intimidate normal people, say 'yeah?' a lot, take drugs, and go to Spain/Majorca/Ibiza for thier hoidays, have no taste, and milk the benefits system more than the worst 'asylum seeker'. Give me hard working Iraqis anyday and lets neuter the 'chavs' They do however keep the population up by having 8 children by 9 different fathers by the age of 13. My rating - (2/10) the 2 only because of the entrepeuneurship shown by their benefits scams.

Africa - African poor seem to me to be the most happy and good natured people on earth. i suspect its 1. they resigned themselves to the fact they are powerless about changing the situation a long time ago because they arent related to the ruling junta 2. they have IQ of 12 and 3. its sunny and warm most of the time. (7/10) they miss a few points because of their general smiling acceptance of their lot (which usually means being exploited down gold mines by chinese gangmasters for 2p a year)

Australia - Basically the same as in uk except 1. they have marginally worse taste if thats possible and 2. they beat their wives. - they do eat better though so even steven at (2/10)

Japanese - Japanese poor are the poor of choice. I once spent a jetlagged morning in ueno park, Tokyo with an old homeless philospher who was im sure in that film the karate kid (he may also have been the inspiration for yoda of star wars) he was a great old dude, spoke perfect english and had pefect manners, in fact it was a few hours before i realised he was a homeless guy. They make perfect origami cardboard boxes, and even leave their shoes at the door, which is pretty funny if it wasnt sad.

But all you horny solvent but slightly dodgy men out there (you know who you are...) there is the new national trend of love hotel refugees, where girls hang outside and offer free sex just for a bed....well sounds like the Tallinn nightclub scene...

http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/2009/02/homeless-japanese-women-dubbed-love-hotel-refugees-.html

marks (9/10 - inventiveness and good business sense in the face of adversity, coupled with good manners and retention of dignity(except the love hotel refugees but well nobodys perfect...)


Americans - I think American poor typify all thats wrong with the country. They can be of course amusing because they are so ignorantly tragic - cliches abound of trailer park rednecks, boys in da hood, latino gangbangers, you name it. My experience of poor americans (outside of Hollywood) is that they are a pretty meek and victimised bunch, with a few nasty buggers like 50 cent bullyng and terrorising the population, and earning the general contempt of the generally contemptous population. The general crapness of americanss as people, is reflected in their not surprising exploitation of their fellow countrymen - http://www.bumfightsdump.com/search/bum_fights !! They do lose a lot of points by their awful eating habits - the fattest poor people on the planet bar none!!

My rating -a sad, and not very glamourous (3/10) becuase i feel sorry for them.