The 'American Bicycle' - 'Irish Heritage District' South Buffalo, New York

Disclaimer - If you are easily offended, or have no concept of or sense of humour, especially regarding jokes about rednecks or fat people then please do not read this Blog. (But do read this blog, be offended, then tell everyone about how offensive my blog is- your free advertising is very welcome!)



There's nothing particularly wrong with South Buffalo. It's a collection of average looking houses on average looking streets in an average looking American town. With silly Gaelic street signs so plastic paddys can pretend they're Irish not American (actually I have seen some black guys with ginger hair though !)

But thats the tragedy - it is American....sooo American, and in every wrong way possible. The people are generally very nice, but I'm flabbergasted daily by the wholesale accepted ignorance of the populace in little slices like of the western world like here, where it seems the past 30 years just slipped by without any change whatsoever (except their diet, of course) Anyway heres what's been happening this week...

An 'American Bicycle' yesterday in the supermarket 

Travel Smart! - I walked into the bank down here yesterday, and the teller had never seen a foreign passport (or been overseas.) She had to spend 20minutes looking over it in detail with the bank manager to check I wasn't one of those ther 'Al Queedas' you hear about on the TV.

Nutrition Concious! - Tonight, as I was starved and food options are limited here, I ate a pizza in 'Wise Guys' Pizza. An enormous fat guy waddled in and waddled out with a box the size of a small car, quite possibly all for his own consumption. There are more vegetables for sale in a Glasgow Chip Shop than down here, believe me. But sadly it seems there are no proper restaurants (unless you count Macdonalds, Taco Bell, or dodgy looking faux Irish Bars.) I really have no idea why only two thirds of the American Population are overweight - where the hell does the other 1/3 eat to stay normal ?? (what an awful statistic though)

The infinitely more sophisticated cuisine of Buffalos 'East Side'

Bike Friendly, how progressive! - And if, you have the impudent cheek to cycle around, especially at night, even if you have a helmet and lights, every third car peeps their horn at you, as if to say 'Get off the f*n Road!'   Haven't these guys down here seen bikes before? I suppose it is Friday night after all so obviously they're in a rush to drive home from the bar to beat their wives.

Anyway, I'll take a proper cycle round the neighbourhood tomorrow and along the 'Seneca Bluffs' and see if i can find an oasis of non-corn syrup monsanto'd up food somewhere, although i'm pretty doubtful since i'm not quite sure if the internet even got here yet.

Marathon Des Sables Diary, Stage 1

So im finally back in the cold again, after blundering through the Marathon Des Sables, leaving hundreds of offended people (mostly French so they dont count) in my wake. I wrote a little diary of my escapades anyway, so what follows is the beginning...

Day 1 - 33km  

Everyone looking clean and fresh on Stage 1

Ok so, a fine start, I have a one hour penalty for not bringing a medical cert. with me, which is fair enough. We received the maps and distances for each day the night before so i was able to see that instead of (as is usual) making day 1 a gentle ‘breaking in’ day, it was now one of the most difficult days, with 13km of large sand dunes. We were woken at a freezing 6am (thanks God for Marmot Sleeping bags) by our bivouacs being taken down over us, and after my first homemade breakfast (nasty Porridge) made our way to the start line. The starting gun went off to the apt tune of AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’ which was repeated every morning.

So Off we went, lambs to the slaughter, into the desert. The first 11km was pretty straightforward, mostly flat along a barren stony plateau. I was keeping up good speed, following one Spanish girl with a lovely bottom, daydreaming my marathon away, when my stomach starts rumbling and I have diahrrea. What kind of a 'worst possible case' start is that? Fortunately there was a tiny hill up ahead and i sprint behind it to let go of bowels, but this didn’t feel good and it sapped my energy for the day and i fell back a fair bit. At the checkpoint they gave me some pills for it which blocked me up for 24 hours at least. The sand dunes were enormous, and were as tough a  terrain as you could move on. Fortunately it was only 35 degrees today and though it was nigh on impossible to run them, the 13km trudge up and down fairly drained most of the runners. The big concern for the first day is to take it easy, not get injured, not overdo it, and get the hang of manageing the nutrition and water correctly, which will be key for the rest of the race. So bearing in mind my earlier diahrea, I guiltily walked the last 7km (which i should have really ran, lazy bugger) and got home feeling quite ok to be honest.

I could think of better places to get Diarhea

Dinner was more freeze dried food, which tasted of shit, but I had to force down as i don’t have another option. Fortunately I also had some beef jerky which is full of protein and helps my muscle recharge a bit ready for the next day. However, all being equal, I feel good so far (apart from the diarea and the awful food) and have no blisters yet. Since im bored after 5 minutes checking how lovely the stars are there is nothing much to do after dark in a desert full of blokes, I fall asleep at 8pm, not caring about the Austrian snoring loudly next to me.