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One week until Morocco

Well, with less than a week to go before my impending death in the Sahara desert, in the Marathon Des Sables so I thought id share with you the following link from the Darwin Awards. Actually this Badwater Ultramarathon looks like a really interesting race - 32km and the (fit and heatlhy guy about my age) cops it though, great to know just before a 254km race in the desert eh.

I think the first day in the desert will be only 20 odd miles (about the same as this guy went until he died) and believe you me in this kind of heat, water is a big issue (and salt) I understand though im allowed one saline drip without penalty, then any after that you get time penalties.

So no problem then.

Id like to say as Estonias sole entrant, im very well prepared and am training every day and eating properly and so on and so on. But im not, I havent trained for a week, and ill pay the price next week, im sure of it. I'll knock out a 30km run tomorrow and another one in the week and i think that will do it I hope.

Thankfully im stubborn as a mule, and im relying on that to complete the race (that and the bet i have on with Aaron to complete it, although he wouldn't tell me what kind of life insurance he took out in my name)

I particularly like the fact that the whole arab world is kicking off right now, as im stuuck in among 20million 'sand niggers' (is that the correct military term for arabs?) thankfully Algeria is kind of in the way of Libya and Mali. Im growing a beard just in case, and ill bring a blank book saying 'Quoran' on it just in case. (its not a brand of cereal, its the Muslim holy book)  Knowing my luck ill find myself as a suicide bomber in a month or so.

My hardest task this week is to avoid catching a cold (3 days flying this week and didnt get one, miracle!) or breaking an ankle on the ice (yes, here in Estonia its still mid winter, although thawed to minus 5)

I understand that people are bringing factor 50 to this desert - i mean whats the point in being in the desert if you arent going to get a tan? im bringing this carrot oil stuff, so i can look like a raghead when the Taureg insurgents come to kidnap us.

Anyway,i would like to thank everyone who sponsored the charity im raising money for, and to thank in advance DRINK bar in Tallinn for sponsoring me and giving me free fish and chips, and beer, while training.

For those of you who are conspicious by your abscence on the sponsorsheet (i.e  Estonians ) i would ask you to give generously so the world doesnt think you are the mean and miserable Godless bunch (that you actually are, if im honest about it, no offence)

anyway, here is the link if you decide to be characteristically unEstonian and give to this small charity, or you are normal and like normal people donate to good causes now and again. (by the way, Estonians, id like you to show me im wrong here)  thanks!

www.justgiving.com/alan-findlay1

 ok now back to sleep....

WHY DO RUNNERS RUN? (IT'S THE DRUGS!)

I went for my first proper training run for a month today.  I’ll try to keep an intermittent log in here, as I will be taking bets on my ability to complete this 254km Sahara race over the next wee while, with the proceeds going to PAPYRUS, a charity that helps young people with depression . I did a cautious 5 miles (8km) in a not very fast 46 minutes in chilly but quite ok plus 4 degrees today, with a bit of hail towards the end.  I’m pretty fat from the USA though so that kept me warm.  

The first run is always an amazing one though – After a mile or so I always cough like hell, it feels like all the crap living and awful processed American food being expended from my body, and usually I have a tough time in the first few miles just remembering how to run – but after 2 or 3 I got into the swing of the Chi Running again and could open the clutch a bit. I’ve decided to raise money for the suicide charity, I think quite an apt good cause considering the nature of the race i’ve entered. So if you’d like to give, just email me – there will be details on my facebook page too. The strangest thing happened though – despite having not ran for a month, i wasn’t even out of breath today, so tomorrow i’ll attempt a cheeky ten miles, just a slow one, in an attempt to 1. Toughen up my feet with blisters and 2. Get used to running in crappy hailstones (the forecast is even for snow i believe) So long as the saunas on when i get back, then i shouldn’t catch a cold. 

At the moment im fat as hell, and red, so its time to bet against me finishing Marathon Des Sables!

Anyway back to the running – the first run for a while, always reminds you of why you run.

And i’m sure you are asking yourself – ‘Yes Alan –actually why the hell do people run?

Well this is an interesting and you could say core question. You non runners will see runners out in pissing rain, snow, hail and storms, and even deserts thinking – ‘This guy is 100% crazy – otherwise why is he putting himself through this hell? ’ A point I can understand fully by the way. Other non runners will tell you it’s boring, it messes up your knees, its gives you a cold, only a total nutjob would get up at 5am and decide to do such a pointless thing like run 20km up a hill and back. WHY?

Well – every runner will tell you a few different things, but the root of it all is - Running  makes you happy. Your brain releases Endorfins and you get a great feeling of wellbeing after the exercise. So it’s basically drug addiction. Of course people say they run for the discipline, they run to relax and clear their mind, they run so they look good, they run because they will improve stamina and be better in bed. And all these are true. But... during and (especially)) after a long run, you feel great, confident, positive, and want to do it all over again – and that’s why it’s addictive.   When you’re running smoothly, you’re totally in touch with your body and what it’s doing, it’s like meditation – at these times its easy even to fall asleep, (so don’t do it on a busy road)

And with Chi Running you don’t even expend enough energy to get tired, so you can run a longer distance than you normally would if you were pounding the pavement and messing up your knees. 

I’ve also stopped drinking now so if anyone sees me with a beer/wine/pint of vodka please punch me in the face (guys) or kiss me (pretty girls) or at least put a bet against me finishing the Marathon Des Sables (all girls and guys)

FINDLAY IN DARWIN AWARDS ATTEMPT

My application for the Marathon Des Sables has now been accepted, so now i plan to make the most of my impending doom by raising money for a charity - With this in mind, i thought id put it out to the public, if anyone has a specific charity theyd like to see money raised for, please let me know, and let me know a reason why they should get the money. Emails to my facebook page or here please!

Daft Ideas to take yourself out of the Gene Pool no 1 - Marathon Des Sables

Today I should receive confirmation that my entry to the Marathon des Sables was successful. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marathon_des_Sables

 The race begins in April 2011, which basically means I need to be fit/drunk enough to run 6 marathons (254km) with all my food, sleeping bag, clothes etc.  on my back through the Sahara desert in 45 degree heat. It’s the best known ‘Ultramarathon’ in the world and I heard it’s the hardest ( i don’t beleive it though) , so...here I am, about to look like a fool again.

 The first day looks easy enough, 17 oddmiles, just to warm up – then a full marathon then a day rest. The next day you climb 20 odd miles through some of the highest sand dunes in the Sahara, with no paths, only a compass. I guess i just have to follow the path of the leading runners, not the camels. (During the 1994 race,Italian Police officer Mauro Prosperi lost his way during a sand storm and wandered lost for more than 9 days, losing over 13 kg (30 lb) of body weight)....nice

The next day is the toughest – a cheeky little double marathon through the searing heat - a 91km run through the desert. Those two days i understand kills the bulk of the weak and stupid off.  Then the (stronger and stupid)  survivors have a final marathon, then a smaller 25km ‘Sprint’ to the finish. 

Anyway what the hell at least I’ve started training, of sorts. I managed to get 10km under an hour last week (yes i know it’s only 3% of the race distance you have to start somewhere!) , but even with that I made the schoolboy error of pushing it too hard, and ran with a 20kg backpack on – result? My left knee is swollen to hell and I can’t run for 2 weeks. However  I do have a schedule organised, i’ve pestered a few nutters who’ve done it (or similar) before,  and cobbled together a training programme, which, yes dear readers does involve some small amount of beer but not much (better with whisky – less calories)  but mostly stuffing my face with fruit and veg and meat, and lots of honey.

My plan currently is pretty simple, similar to the Ironman training (without so much of the swimming or cycling) to run 2 or 3 times in the week, with a biggie at the weekend, then throwing in an 8kg pack when my poor joints are more used to it. I don’t plan to wash or change clothes (or make any friends) during the race so i think i can get away with 8kg of food.

 I suppose this means goodbye to those lovely healthy weekend binge drinks and waking up with strange animals/dwarfs/amputees/circus performers, but i don’t think I’ll miss that so much somehow. Anyway, ill drop in some updates on my training from time to time, as really if I don’t totally change my lifestyle right now, this race will be one long suicide, and if I die, it will really kind of be my own stupid fault.

People do die doing these kind of zany pranks but, dear readers, on this occasion i have no intention of doing so. I even put together a great collection of ironic  ‘suicide/death related’ thrash metal  songs to run to, so i can put them on if i’m in trouble to cheer myself up.

 However i do intend taking bets on my ability to finish (as well as donations to a charity that i haven’t sorted out yet) so more on this later. Currently, in my bad shape ill give EVENS on my finishing the race, with the proceeds going 50% to my costs and 50% to the charity (if i lose i’ll give you the money but you should just give it ot the charity) Anyway, gives me an incentive to actually train for 16 hours a week, which isn’t much fun believe me (but at least ill look good)

 Ok now for my first ever road trip through Finland, im on the Helsinki Ferry, which is of course filled to the brim with freindly beer and shot drinking inbreds, I get the feeling that rural Estonia only touches on retards compared to 'marry your sister' rural Finland, but who knows maybe we get a pleasant surprise...