Every city has its weirdo. I've already introduced Mr Shitty, of Iquitos in a previous posting, but today i was reminded me of a very strange, (and totally repulsive) man, i think without a doubt the person who disgusted me more than anyone ive ever seen - the 'city weirdo' of Glasgow. Well everyone is interesting to some people, if even in a manky and perverse way, so i think its my duty that this story is told to the world....
I was in the toilet at Glasgow Central Station today, which was what reminded me of the time i 'met' the weirdo. I went in (this was about 10 years ago) and the toilet was quite busy, but fortunately a guy just came out of one of the cubicles. He smiled at me strangely as he came out, and seemed vaguely familiar. I walked in and there was a porno mag sitting there on the pan, that he had just freshly 'soiled' that minute. Nice. thanks a lot. He'd only been standing there jerking off with the door open. It was pretty disgusting, THEN i remember where i recognised him from......
A few weeks earlier, as it happened, i was walking along Gordon Street, a main city pedestrian Street in Glasgow. It was rush hour, about 5 pm so the street was busy. I noticed suddenly a kind of gap appearing and this same guy, giving me this pretty weird pervy look. Then i realised he was walking quickly through the street, wanking himself and leering at everyone who caught his eye. Unbeleivable. I dont know if anyone has everwitness this, but it was a real double take..hes doing what? im scarred for life.
A few weeks later again, there was a guy arrested, caught in the red light area, drinking used condoms, and im pretty sure its the same guy. Fuck. Some people. I must admit im not shocked by much but....anyway...
So ladies, when your boyfriend farts or forgets to bring home the bread you asked him to, or is just being generally annoying, just be thankful, it could be worse, at least you arent with the 'city weirdo', or 'mr shitty' who are both most likely in a very safe place right now getting very special help.
thus ends the story of the Glasgow Weirdo.
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