Ayahuasca Revisited

 So here I am on the overnight flight from Chicago to London, with a free upgrade to first class, and my own bed, pyjamas, and facecream. I’m finally watching a movie called ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ recommended to me by a knowing friend, which is about an eccentric bi-polar writer about my age, who likes to run, lives and home with his parents, can’t have a normal relationship and  ‘says more inappropriate things than appropriate things.’ Hoho, dear shallow ex girlfriends, ring a bell? As I land at my mum and dads tomorrow afternoon the irony is not lost…(although the hot girl from the hunger games is in it as the love interest, so things don’t look so bad)

 One thing about movies though that is annoying though, is that the weird guy ends up getting the beautiful crazy but really deeply sensitive and shy lonely girl, but In real life, when I hang outside their house for nights on end and write them poetry every day, they usually stop taking my calls, block me on facebook and they end up moving in with bald used car salesmen with shit for brains. Ho-hum who said the movies were true eh, a man can only dream…

Anyway, I did say I’d write about taking Ayahuasca again, and the aftermath of going straight to Las Vegas from there, so I’ll tell you about it now…

The Ayahuasca…

This time was a very different experience from the first week, 2 or 3 years ago.  The first night was great. A whole bunch of ugly bad negative spirits who had been hanging around inside of me, waddled off to the exit. Big ugly monsters who I wouldn’t miss.

And I took up smoking. 

And I’m pretty sure I met God.

 Well, how do you explain to someone about that exactly? Well, you don’t. Just take Ayahuasca and you will meet him/her too. I suppose it’s nice to know that 

a. he exists (although this is obvious to anyone but the most wooden shallow person, feel free to take me up on this issue, as I would love to hear a credible argument for atheism) 

b. He’s omnipotent, if you let him be, and is a lot like you.

A hairy little old man drawing out a demon, and two monkeys, yesterday...

 The second night I had a relaxed night of consolidation. Then a guy, strangely the only guy in the group who I hadn’t spoken to before, decided to hang himself in his room. People were distraught, especially the organisers. Having someone die in the middle of a week of Ayahausca had quite an effect on the ‘juju’ in the camp. But we soldiered on.

 The strange thing is, after that, for me at least, nothing much happened.  One night a weird little being came to me. I was sitting there minding my own business, and I looked down, and standing there, a brown misshapen dwarf with a pot-belly stood there and asked me if he could help. I have absolutely no idea who this was, to this day.

 A whole bunch of bad spirits would float about, giant crustacean insects with long floating tendrils, quivering in the ether, checking me out.  A giant mosquito hovered over me, telling me he’d given me malaria, and I could feel the virus inside me, multiplying…uuh, but of course then I realized he was lying, so I managed to get rid of him and…voila, a relatively pain free Ayahuasca week-  a week in heaven if you will, and…straight to Sin City, Las Vegas, for ten days of ‘hell’…

The Buffet, Wynn Las Vegas...

The charcoal market, down at the port, erm Las Vegas. Or was that Iquitos.

…But actually I really enjoyed it. A couple of strange things happened. A guy’s card came near me and I told him it was the 3 of diamonds, and he looked at it and it was the 3 of diamonds. Which was strange since I didn’t see the card, but it did disrupt the game since he obviously thought I was cheating.  Feeling peoples auras? Yes, that is true, although not to the extent that I could ‘break’ Poker. I did however become a much better and more disciplined poker player, I kept my money, I cashed in 3 tournaments, I went running, emailed my family, bought some presents for nieces and nephews, and all was well with the world. And poker, you dear old devil of statistic risk analysis, bluffing, blustering bullshitting, and pushing all-in at completely inappropriate moments, I’m glad to stay I still love you…

Damn that hunger games girl is hot. I definitely recommend the film…

Vision Airlines

Ayahuasca and Poker...Marriage made in Heaven?

In a weeks time, i'll be back in the middle of the Amazon jungle, in the lovely homely blue morpho Shamanic Retreat, glugging Ayahuasca like its going out of fashion, getting epiphanies about the meaning of life every 5 minutes, and puking on a 24/7 basis...

But wait a minute here, I thought the other day. What does a week long Ayahuasca fest do to me exactly? Yes, as usual, it's likely to change me for the better, spiritually and probably make me less funny and more serious, and i'm sure i'll end up drinking even less than i do now (which is almost nothing)

But on the plus side, my head will be clear and sharp, and like last time, i'll be uber-vulnerable on leaving the place, able to feel the auras of those around me, and the motives, the inner energy driving each and all of the people i'll meet.

So I had my own little epiphany on this subject. I thought, why not fly straight to Las Vegas afterwards, and play the Venetian Deepstack Poker series? I'll be supersensitive to people, so in theory, surely i'll be excellent (even more than usual) at reading bluffs?

Anyway, dear friends, only time will tell. Perhaps i'll be so sensitive I won't want to be anywhere near a Poker Room, with all that negative, zero sum energy, and guys spending money they can't afford, feeding the sharks. But perhaps, just perhaps, a little bit of the old me will remain to pull me towards the  most amazing thing since the WSOP was invented. Perhaps its a secret weapon and i'll be invincible, break the whole game of poker, and become a zillionaire. Perhaps i'll be walking to the pawnbroker with my Breitling in hand, but either way an adventure, and thats what life's about is it not?

Well dear friends, watch this space....

Poker in Nicaragua

So, I hear you ask. Im in Nicaragua, and i'd like to play poker and there is NOWHERE on the internet that actually gives you any decent advice about it....so here it is, your definative guide!

Managua

Managua is the only real place theres any regular poker. There are 3 poker clubs with regular cash games and (awfully structured and not really worth playing) tournaments.

1. Pharaoh Casino, Masaya Road. This is the city Pharaoh casino, not the one at the airport. There's a good nightly cash game from 7pm here, up at the back of the casino (just go to the back and its round the corner.) Theres often a smattering of gringo 'hustlers' who actually usually aren't even that good. It's $200 buy-in and no-maximum and a $2/4 NL Hold Em game. The regular players are quite predictable - just a fun game with no-one dangerous.

2.Princes Casino. Up the back, this is the biggest game in town, and rolls at 6pm on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Monday. Again minimum is $200 for a $2/5 game but people often buy in for $400-600 and the game gets some pretty big action. I'd say the best players in Nicaragua play here (but that doesn't mean much!) and you get some decent $2000-$3000 pots, even with guys with no cards.

3. Casino Nicaragua. Starting at 8pm, and usually going all night, this is the biggest and friendliest game in town - there are always 2 tables going and its $40 minimum, $1/2. There are a lot of young kids playing here and pots get surprisingly big (especially when the beers flowing) so it's the kind of game you can just sit back on those small blinds  and wait for a hand.

All the Managua poker venues, it's possible to come away a thousand or two in profit on a night (or loss!) it just depends on what mood your in - i'd suggest trying out all three.



Leon

There is a small poker club here, just across from the 'La Perla' Casino (next to the hotel on the corner.) It runs on Friday and Saturday (and thursday if they get enough interest) It's an awful Karaoke bar the other nights. Buy-in is tiny, about $20 minimum, but the night i played it did heat up a bit, perhaps because they wanted to show off to the Gringo (me) When I played here, I made $40 to about $800, against one guy who kept getting credit from the bar, but to be honest, it felt a bit sketchy and I really do not think i would have got home safely if i'd won the all in that was $1600 there - thats about 6 months salary in Leon. I think in reality they didn't have the money to pay that out, so there was a lot of relief there that night when my KK didn't hold up against this random locals 9 10 ;o)


They play the cash game with those 'home game' poker chips that you get in vegas, so if you have some at home (i'm sure you do!) and want to a risk a kneecapping, then feel free to bring them into the cash game here and sneak them on!


Granada

Cafe Euro, just off the main square, has a weekly poker tournament in the back every thursday night. Its $10 with unlimited re-buys - total bingo! It's a nice mix of expats and locals and could be a good way to meet new friends if your new in town.

There isn't a casino but the guys tend to play a cash game afterwards. I didn't play that because i was accosted by a pesky glue sniffer when walking round the backstreets trying to find it. Luckily i turned the potential robbery into a reverse mugging by running at the guy clapping my hands and shouting, and he got the shock of his life.

But seriously, don't walk around the back streets in Granada after dark, it's even more stupid than rushing a glue sniffer clapping your hands.


San Juan Del Sur

Republika bar (look it up) has a poker game going on once a week, on tuesdays. The guys I spoke to who play are all expat gringos, but seemed a decent bunch, its the usual friendly home game style, small money and a few beers.

Latvians are normal, Norwegians are not human.

I've plainly been brainwashed in Estonia about Latvians. Here are the myths with how it really is....

MYTH- Latvian girls are all hookers
Truth - Actually this might be true. They certainly dress that way, and when i asked random girls in bars to buy me a drink, they weren't so interested to speak to me. But if i made out i was thinking to buy a bottle of 'champanski' then they were my best friend all of a sudden (this, I may add was in a Russian club, God bless them, the worlds natural born prostitutes) However, i'm not sure if Latvian girls either wear leopardskin dresses or dance in front of mirrors alone.

MYTH - Latvians are all crooks who like to rip off Ryanair stag party tourists in strip bars
Truth - Actually this may also be true. Except this weekend i did meet a number of quite decent Latvians who are totally normal and who understand the concept of business (not 'bizness' as the Porche Cayenne driving Mafia would tell you about) and the general normal concepts of society. Actually really cool people. This wasn't in a Russian club I may add. I did meet a great Russian taxi driver who tried to do me over, but fortunately accepted my doing a runner as me not accepting paying 20 Euros for a 3 Euro fare.

MYTH - Riga is full of drunk English Ryanair Stag Parties
Truth - Actually.....this may also be true. Despite Riga being a genuinely beautiful city with really decent people as i found out this weekend, i'm afraid to tell you that, If you meet a group of English guys in Latvia - they are there, like in Tallinn, for the cheap booze and cheaper women - how to test it? well....for fun, ask to speak to 'Dave'  - there is ALWAYS a guy called Dave in the group. If there isn't, they are certainly not English, certainly not a Stag party. Dave, I think you can gather stands for something like 'Dickheads Abroad, Very English'. Or something like that. And he will explain everything. Every group has a 'DAVE' even if he isn't called Dave.

Ok ok, there is another post on this blog, with some normal things about Riga...ill post it up here soon.

About the Norwegians - I had a very international weekend, mostly with some cool Frenchies  (hello if you are reading) whom I drank heavily and played poker with and, strangely enough a Norwegian Stag Party in Riga this weekend.
anyway i found out from these, quite decent but sadly Norwegain guys that it seems that if you rape someone (guy or an animal, or a girl) in Norway, you get 4 years in Prison. If you get caught playing Poker, you get 5 years. Speaks volumes about the feminist trust fund socialist state that is Norway, really, and kind of explains why they breed the kind of people they do.