Most Popular Posts...

Showing posts with label americans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label americans. Show all posts

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Cannibalism in Nicaragua

A mini version of Hell, yesterday

So I found myself in a strange ritual the other night in Magnific Rock, Popoyo. I come home from a hard day at the beach and a bunch of guys from new zealand have dug a hole, made a fire, and were drinking heavily.

A large thing had been killed and put into a box for the flames. At first i thought it could have been some child sacrifice, but then I realised that this was a new zealand thing, so there must be sheep involved instead somewhere.

and lo and behold, I was right. Instead of a little fat Nicaraguan boy, who probably tasted of Tortilla and cookies, it was a goat, butchered in the absence of the sacred sheep, and ritualistically lowered into the pit of fire, for our future eating, once drunk.

Chopped up Nicaraguan little boy for sacrifice

Actually it was pretty tasty, and, to further celebrate the guys birthday, everyone got more drunk, and joined the local kids in their favourite pastime - beating up animals.

Local kids, blindfolded and attacking a pink dinosaur (no wonder they are extinct)

Well, as the birthday drinks flowed, it got to that great and friendly stage, where the different nationalities couldn't be distinguished apart (except for the American, who could be easily distinguished by her puking on the floor when she thought no one was looking)

I think the only Americans who actually drink all live in Buffalo- the only city I know where you get pulled over for sober driving...

However I digress, I'm glad to now be back in good old cold Britain again, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, there are no ants in my bed, and I have no need of an air conditioner as it never gets over 20 degrees (it's the Scottish maximum allowed temperature, our thermometers don't even go to 25)

More on that later, in between perhaps a few guest posts and bizzareness of blighty....

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Everyone has an Agenda

One interesting piece of philosophy i shared with a random drunk (and embittered) Canadian divorcee when in Thailand was that EVERYONE HAS AN AGENDA. In USA, its seen as everything you do has a reason, and you are looking for a totally selfish angle or an outcome of that - ie you have freinds so you arent lonely, you beleive in God because your scared of dying, get married becuase you want regular sex and your shirts ironed, you drive a porche because you think it will compensate for your small penis etc etc.

So even altruistic or seemingly genuine things are deeply rooted in selfish motives. Only Americans could think of such a cynical thing but it does hold a lot of truth - today, consider what you are doing and have a good think why - Do you have an Agenda? And if not, why not?